Christmas Fruitcake Muffins

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/2 cup milk
4 tablespoons (1/2/ stick) butter, melted
1/2 cup diced red and green cherries
1/2 mixed diced candied pineapple
1/2 cup raisins
2 teaspoons lemon zest
2 teaspoons orange zest

Procedure:

1. Preheat oven to 400º.
2. In a mixing bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.
3. In a second bowl, mix together the egg, milk, and melted butter.
4. Add the egg/butter/milk mixture to the flour to make a lumpy batter (do not over mix).
5. Fold in the rest of the ingredients.
6. Spoon the batter into muffin cups or tins, filling each cup about two thirds full. I usually line the cups with paper muffin shells.
7. Bake at 400º until the muffins are plump, golden, and a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean; about 30 minutes.

Makes 12 muffins.

Verbing

"First they came for the verbs and I said nothing, for verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns and I speech nothing, for I no verbs."

Attributed to Peter Ellis (via Diane Duane)

Candied Fruitcake

Ingredients:

3 7 1/4 ounce packages of pitted dates
1 pound candied pineapple, red and green, and yellow
1 pound whole candied cherries, red and green
2 cups sifted all purpose flour *
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 eggs
1 cup granulated sugar
2 pounds pecan halves (Taste them; they must be fresh)

*Mom says you can get by with "fluffing" the flour with a fork.

This makes roughly four loaves, depending on the sizes of the pans.

Procedure:

1. Prepare the pans by oiling them and lining them with brown paper cut to fit. Then oil the paper.
2. Preheat the oven to 275 F.
3. Chop the dates into three pieces or so. (It’s about 3 1/2 cups cut)
4. Chop the candied pineapple into about 1/3 of inch wide wedges (about 2 1/2 cups)
5. Put the chopped fruit in a large mixing bowl. Add the candied cherries, whole (about 2 cups).
6. Lightly spoon the flour into a measuring cup.
7. Add the salt and baking powder to the flour.
8. Sprinkle the flour mixture over the fruit.
9. Mix fruit and dry ingredients until all the fruit is well coated.
10. Using mixer, beat four eggs until frothy.
11. Gradually add one cup sugar to eggs, beat until well blended.
12. Add eggs and sugar to fruit mixture, mixing well.
13. Add two pounds (eight cups) of pecan halves.
14. Mix until nuts are evenly distributed and well coated with batter.
15. Pack into pans, pressing down with the back of a spoon. If necessary, rearrange pieces of fruit and nuts to fill up empty spaces. This should be a dense cake, without holes.
16. Bake one and a half hours at 275 F. When done, tops of cakes should look dry. If there is any doubt, leave cakes in oven longer, as a little extra baking does no harm. Watch for the edges of the cake to pull away from the pan; that’s a sign of doneness.
17. When cakes are done, remove from oven and place on cake racks.
18. Let stand about five minutes.
19. Turn out on racks, and carefully remove paper.
20. Cool cakes, and turn top side up.

Traditionally you would douse the cake with sherry, or bourbon, or brandy, and wrap the cake in several layers of cheescloth and put it in a container for at least two or three weeks. It isn't requires. You may use the same method to freshen a dry or over cooked cake.

Wrap cakes in plastic food wrap and then foil to freeze them; they freeze well. Thaw at room temperature.

After making the cake the first time, you may find you prefer more nuts or fruit, in which case you may need to add extra batter, using the instructions above. You can use half the eggs, sugar, etc. to make more batter if you don’t need quite so much.

From LRS; originally from Woman’s Day December, 1954.

Grad Student Chili

Ingredients:

2–3 Tablespoons Olive oil
1.5 to 2.0 pounds hamburger
1 medium onion, chopped
1 small can green chilies
4-5 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup Beer
1/2 cup strong brewed black coffee
1 128 ounce (794 grams) can of crushed tomatoes
2 12 ounce cans of beans (424 grams per can)
5 Tablespoons Chili powder (to taste)
1 teaspoon ground cumin (or crushed cumin seeds)
1 teaspoon dried Oregano
Salt and black pepper to taste

Procedure

1. Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan.
2. Add the onion and garlic, saute briefly, then add the hamburger. Cook until the hamburger is lightly browned, stirring frequently.
3. Add the beer and the coffee. Cook for five minutes, stirring it once.
4. Add the canned tomatoes, with their juice, the beans, chili powder, cumin and oregano.
5. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to low, and cook, partly covered, for half and hour, stirring it every ten minutes or so.
6. Taste the chili; season to taste, and cook a little longer, say, thirty minutes to an hour
7. The most important thing is to taste the chili, and adjust the seasonings accordingly.
8. Garnish with chopped cilantro, onions, and grated cheese. Serve with tortillias, grated cheese, cornbread, or over rice or baked potatoes.

Notes:

Trader Joe's frozen garlic is Just Fine. Omit the beer or chili as long as the same amount of liquid is used. Substitute broth (beef, chicken or vegetable. Use ground turkey, or tofu, if you'd rather. You can extend the chili, by adding another can of beans, or a can of corn. Chopped green pepper, celery and mushrooms are nice additions; saute them with the onions. The chili is better the next day, and freezes well. You can even freeze the cooled chili in Ziplock bags. Make sure the bags are tightly sealed, and don't over fill them.

To those who ask why this is "grad student chili" . . . I started making it as a grad student, and it's well suited for cooks on a budget since it's easily extendable and it uses ingredients that are fairly common. Plus it includes two staples of many grad students' diets— beer and coffee. I confess, I started using the beer because I had some and didn't drink beer, but it does add something.

Culled from Twenty Years Ago

Michael culled these from lower level English composition classes in the early 1980s.

• "Maturity and experience come with age."


• "Most spectators see Formula One drivers as people who stop at nothing to win."


• "As an end product of each class, I received a letter grade from A to F, excluding E."


• "When reality finally sets in, the true fan will feel as though a close freind [sic] had died."


• "Students are now in school to get degrees so they can get a descent [sic] job."


• "The two city council candidates do not frequent the pool thusly they did not have enough information to make a valid claim that the department wastes money on lifeguards."


• "The president is only a figurehead with a birthright position."


• "It was a very encomppassing book which captivated my attention until the very end."

Signals

This is from a poster RAL and CDL gave me, and that is an enlarged photocopy from an unknown book.

2 people	2 signals
3 people	9 signals
4 people	28 signals
5 people	75 signals
6 people	186 signals
7 people	441 signals
8 people	1,016 signals
9 people	2,295 signals
10 people	5,110 signals
11 people	11,253 signals
12 people	24,564 signals
13 people	53,235 signals
14 people	114,674 signals
15 people	245,745 signals
16 people	524,272 signals
17 people	1,114,095 signals
18 people	2,359,278 signals
19 people	4,980,717 signals
20 people	10,485,740 signals
21 people	22,020,075 signals

A mathematically inclined friend thought the equation that explained the relationship between the People and Signals was

S=(p*((2^(p-1))-1)

Wycherly's Country Wife

I culled both of these sentences many years ago from a paper on the Restoration play The Country Wife by William Wycherley.

• Horner's action in this play is mainly based on manipulating other characters orally.
• Horner's manipulation of Sir Jasper Fidget continues when he pretends to be impotent.